It’s damn hard to be human

Elderly demented female screaming , intoxicated male pulling out his IV lines, three babies crying, three ambulances show up at once.

Typical night in the ER.

Gotta keep moving.

More ER patients signing in. Abdominal pains, chest pains, asthma, lacerations, fractures, vaginal bleeding, septic shock.

Another two ambulances rolling in.

Where’s the nurse for room 12 ?

Who’s on line 8200?

I don’t know if he ‘s a DNR !

I really need to visit the bathroom.

Gotta keep moving .

Three new patients. First one , a 26 year woman can’t be aroused. Her urine shows, cocaine, amphetamines, opiates, and valium- take your pick of which zonked her out the most. Another one a 40 something male says “my leg hurts need pain medicines. “ His urine shows methamphetamine. He’s in all the time, known as a frequent flyer. The third a 19-year-old girl who comes in with repetitive seizures. In between her seizures she wakes up .” I was doing cocaine, that’s all they gave me, I’ve never done it before.”

I know they’re using drugs to mask their pain but the truth of the matter- I was not kind to any of them!

I just shouted commands. ” Stick out your tongue! Lift up your arms !” I’m testing their brain function but at the same time venting my frustrations . I can get away with this indiscretion. I know better -but lost it.

I make a vow to do better.

Life in the ER is staccato not adante, brief sentences not flowing paragraphs. I see in black and white not shades of gray or color.

Here’s the worst part:

Cardiac arrest, 50-year-old man dead, couldn’t resuscitate him. We tried hard.

Wife and children waiting in the family room

I’m a stranger, not their doctor, no relationship!

My job to tell them the worst news of their life.

And after I’ve dropped this load on them I’m pulled away, another doctor on line 8200, another ambulance rolling in. Not even allowed two minutes to mourn with them! Next abdominal pain, next chest pain.

Can’t talk anymore.

Gotta go.

Phillip Silverstein M.D.

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You’re currently reading “It’s damn hard to be human,” an entry on Life Lessons From The ER

Published:: February 10, 2010 / 4:07 pm

Category:: Life Lessons From The ER

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Marcus 5.18.10 / 11am

You have no time to think or do anything else except deal with the patients. I don’t expect the patients are the nicest of people either. It takes a special type of person to handle the stress level. I appreciate you doing this tough job.

drphillipsilverstein 5.18.10 / 12pm

Thank you for your support

Amber 5.19.10 / 12pm

Wow! That’s alot to take in just in one night. Your brain is full of medical drama every moment, and it’s like you can’t get away from it. This job sounds both exciting but also scary. It is very understandable why you snapped at the patients though. You probably just got over-heated. I would be scared to tell anyone that their relatives passed because it seems like I did nothing to prevent it even though I know I did.

drphillipsilverstein 5.20.10 / 5am

Thank you for your interest it is still a rewarding and wonderful profession

Christine paperclip F. 5.19.10 / 5pm

Wow. I didnt know an ER doctor had to deal with so much. I do thank god that there are people like you who save lives and break bad news to people and yet still keep a certain level of calmness. you are amazing.

drphillipsilverstein 5.20.10 / 5am

Thanks for your encouragement

drphillipsilverstein 5.24.10 / 8am

Thanks for your encouragement It is a joy to serve the less fortunate and I really am the benficiary most of the time

Dr Silverstein

1. Cynthia Balevre (Glick) 5.29.10 / 4pm
  
  Dr. Silverstien,
  you are the greatest, and you and I both know that there are so many children and adults alike that are so much better off because you intervened in their lives. I can think of so many endless nights in the ER. I remember so many stories, so many saved lives. You deserve the greatest of respect. I miss you so much! Cindy Glick Balevre
2. drphillipsilverstein 6.1.10 / 1pm
  
  Thanks Cindy
  Give my best to all the nurses in the ER as well. You sound like your life has moved in a beautiful direction and knowing how hard it has been for you – You are amazing! I am sure you child is adorable. My best to your husband as well.
  
  Dr. Silverstein

Alexis B. 5.21.10 / 2am

Its amazing how those three people of various ages would come in with different complaints, and yet, they have the same cause. Drugs. I never knew that the E.R. could be so hectic. Thanks for all that you do!

Tina R 5.22.10 / 9am

It takes a strong person to deal with so much stress. Not a lot of people seem to be able to comprehend that at all.

You probably have one of the most stressful jobs there is, and unlike the rest of us, who can take a few minutes when they need to and think and try to overcome the stress and calm themselves down and then keep going, you don’t have that option, because in the seconds you take to figure yourself out, someones life could be in jeopardy and slowly running it’s course to it’s very end, and you know your job is to prevent that from happening, so you keep moving from one to the next. Of course, not every case is so lucky that they walk out of the ER alive, and people do die, and this makes it even worse defined by the simple fact that when it comes to having to let their loved ones know, you have barely enough time to say, “I’m sorry for your loss” before you have to move on to the next one.

Nobody ever said it was easy; holding the fate of a life in one’s own hands.

But nobody really knows what the people in your profession deal with on a daily basis.

Thank you for your continued excellence in saving lives when they come to you.

Stephanie R. 5.23.10 / 9am

And I thought I had a hard life. Haha. That’s pretty intense. I had no idea that ER doctors went through so much stress in only a couple of hours. I watch a show called Grey’s Anatomy and even though they have stress, their stress is nothing compared to yours. I’m very grateful for people like you. Thank you very much!

Adriana W. 5.23.10 / 9am

Wow! Dr.Phillip you are an extroidinary person to be able to deal with all of those patients. From dealing with rude or stubborn people and still being concerned about their health and well being. Your job is complicated but it takes a big person to fufil your spot as a doctor. So with that I give you thanks for being that bigger person.

Tone' Boykins 5.23.10 / 3pm

It is soooo awesome that you even give your time to help people. I didn’t really know how much ER doctors struggled with on a regular basis. The video confrence with you the other day was awesome as well, ilearned many things that i really hadn’t even thought about. I loved the way you used the med-school terminology with us also , it mae me feel smart and special. :) I actually knew what you were talking about. I still can’t believe that those people go around giving HIV to others , that’s not very nice !

Nicholas 5.24.10 / 11am

Wow, I never realized how stressful working all day/night in an ER could be. I don’ t think I could handle that, I’m glad there are people like you out there who can. Thanks for making us all a bit safer.

drphillipsilverstein 5.25.10 / 7am

Thank you again for your comments Nicholas.

Dr Silverstein

Erica B. 5.24.10 / 2pm

So many kids want to be doctors, but they don’t realize how much hard work you have to do in and out of medical school. Some people are just plain rude, but you have to take it because your job is to make them feel better. I’m volunteering at the local hospital this summer because I do want to be a doctor. So many different things going on at once, many people couldn’t take it. I’m glad some people can, so that people can get help when they need it.

drphillipsilverstein 5.25.10 / 7am

Good for you
Very smart on your part to volunteer
I actually got a job mopping floors in the operating room while in college to gain some insights

Dr Silverstein

Tina R 5.26.10 / 3pm

(I don’t think this went through the first time…. So here I am posting it again)

Thank you for your continued excellence in saving lives when they come to you

Laura 5.29.10 / 5pm

Both of my parents are psychologists…and I’ve heard some pretty insane stories about people they’ve had to deal with. But the shock of their stories has now gone down the toilet after reading your experiences! I admire your ability to go through all of that on a daily basis. It really is quite amazing and I think maybe we underestimate what it takes to work in the ER. We just expect the best because we’re more focused on the trauma we’re dealing with when we’re there. You deserve the upmost appreciation! So thank you for all that you do!

Mikah Sprague 6.1.10 / 11am

I am one of the king’s fork students from the video conference you did on the immune system. I think you did a great job.

This post couldn’t be any more real. I have never really thought of the stress or thoughts that would go through an ER doctor’s head until now. It makes me want to do something to help.

drphillipsilverstein 6.1.10 / 1pm

Dear Mikah

See if you can volunteer at a hospital ER at some point during your educational development.
You want to really be satisfied when choosing you job so take your time.
There is not a day that goes by that I regret my decision.
It a great way to grow as a person in character and that is what is ultimately most important.

Dr Silverstein

Gabby 6.2.10 / 5pm

I’m so speachless, I have absolutely no idea what to say. As we go through life we learn what really matters, we see people die everyday from things that could have been prevented and as a doctor I would feel horrible having to go tell someone that they have just lost a person who means so much to them. So many kids have the dream of becoming a doctor but many of then don’t know just how much power it really takes. I’m so touched and deeply enlighted by what you do. I want to become a pediatric nurse or a neuonatlogist and after reading this it remined me just how much courage, strengh, and heart I have to have in order to survive in my career and in life in general.

drphillipsilverstein 6.5.10 / 12pm

Dear Gabby

Go for it. Nothing worthwhile doesn’t come with some requisite pain. But the internal rewards are well worth it!

Dr.Silverstein

Ezinne N. 6.3.10 / 3pm

All of people do not understand how hard it is to be working in the medical field. To work in the medical field I can see how streased a person is mentally and physically. A person, like yourself, has to be very determined to handle all the issues/problems that happens in the ER. I can also see how much you strive to help your patients as bset as you could. Right now I am actually working towards to becoming a pediatrician, to help people that are pushing to survive. So many people do not see the beauty of what it means to be in the medical field but you do, so I say just keep moving forward becsuse you really do make a difference.

drphillipsilverstein 6.5.10 / 12pm

Thank You for your comments. I think my favorite group of doctors are pediatricians. They go into that field for the finest reasons and have been a source of inspiration to me.
Your moving into a wonderful career option.

Dr. Silverstein

Life Lessons From The ER

It’s damn hard to be human

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